My heart is literally so full right now, I think it might explode! On Sunday night my Momma and I decided to make a kind-of-spur-of-the-moment trip to Myrtle Beach. So, we got up early Monday morning, threw a bag and a beach chair in the car and off we went. It was pretty chilly, but hey- with beauty comes pain- so we laid out in bathing suits hoping to get a suntan despite the overcast sky. My cup runneth over with love for her and the serenity of this beautiful place.
I have already read the book One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp (and I will do a post about it soon) but my Momma had never read it, so I spent all day laying on the beach reading it aloud to her. If you know anything about this extraordinary book- you know it's the kind that you can read over and over again and still learn something new each and every time because it is so dense and completely and utterly saturated with Scripture. If you haven't read this, you need to read it as soon as possible... it will forever change your life.
We came home today in time for the ladies of my church's Bible Study. Since I'm away at school, I can't usually be there, so getting to go this week while I'm on Spring Break was a real treat. They are currently in the middle of Beth Moore's study of Esther called "It's Tough Being a Woman" (and ain't that the truth!). I have done several of Beth Moore's Bible Studies and every single one always leaves me feeling completely in awe of the way God loves me and how He still speaks volumes to me through Bible stories I've heard a million times if I just dig a little deeper.
The verse that stood out to me the most from the passage we studied tonight is Esther 4:14 which reads, "And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" This verse in context is Mordecai talking to his cousin whom he raised, Queen Esther, about her approaching the King to save the Jews. She was scared because no one was allowed to approach him without being asked. but Mordecai pleaded with her to be brave and do this to save her own Jewish family and many others. One of the truths to pull from this passage that Beth pointed out tonight is that it will often be a crisis that God uses to point you in the right direction. I guess that's a seemingly simple thought- but if you really think about it, how true is that? How often do we find ourselves wandering away from the Lord and then something horrible happens and it makes us refocus our lives around Christ? Esther did not think that the timing was right for her to do what she needed to do, but God's timing is always perfect and He will never give us more than we can handle.
God's timing is something I've always struggled to understand. I can usually wrap my brain around the fact that life is not always easy and sometimes we have to go through hard times, but I struggle with the WHY. Why now, Lord? Why this, Lord? Why me, Lord? Uhhh, are You sure I can handle this, Lord? The questions are endless and to be completely honest, they all result in a lack of willingness to be truly dependent on Him. I'm so hell-bent on being my little "self-sufficient," independent self that sometimes it's hard to have to rely on Him, even though I always end up remembering that apart from Him, I can do nothing (John 15:5). I never understand why the Lord can't just make His reasons and His will clear to me. Wouldn't it be easier to go through the hard times if we knew how it would all work together for good later? We are promised that, after all (Romans 8:28). Well, that is another thing Beth spoke about tonight that was just totally and completely profound to me: she said that God is just as purposeful about what He does not say as what He does say. Sometimes He uses His "silence" to build our faith and help us learn to fully rely on Him. Nothing He does or does not do is a mistake. Nothing He says or does not say is a mistake. What an amazing thought!
Take some time to wrap your brain around the fact that you, just like Esther, are without a doubt put in the place you are right now for a reason. No, it may not be what you had planned and it may not be easy, but the Lord is faithful and He wants to use YOU at "such a time as this."