Grace like an ocean

Why is it that something as freely given as the Lord's grace is so mind-blowingly incomprehensible to us? Why do we, even as children of the Most High God reject His loving kindness and deem ourselves unworthy of the blessings He wants to bestow upon us? Grace like an ocean, the grace only the Lord can give, provides enough forgiveness for a lifetime of mistakes, enough love to heal even the most shattered heart and enough kindness to melt any heart of stone. 

Just as little streams trickle into rivers that eventually flow into the ocean, God uses even the smallest things to sustain us during the seemingly "dry" seasons of life. Despite where we are in our current circumstances, the Lord is there walking right beside us, sustaining us with His grace, compelling us to open our hearts even wider to His compassions. 

As daughters of the King, it is necessary to embrace our worth in order to have a deeply-rooted, contagious joy that spreads to others. Loving yourself because of whose you are, rather than who you are, gives a whole new meaning to the love and grace we consider ourselves worthy of, and therefore the love and grace we are able to give to others. When we begin to view Christianity as a never-ending pursuit of having a heart like His and a journey of learning to see ourselves as He sees us rather than a religion, we can truly experience grace like an ocean. 

Let that grace wash over you, dear sisters, wiping away every doubt, every fear, every insecurity. You are beautiful, you are whole, you are valuable. You were bought at a price and were fearfully and wonderfully made.

Do your actions reflect your beliefs?

As a Christian, are we called to only love one another when they treat us like they should? If you’re like me, your answer is, “well, of course not.”

But... do your actions reflect your beliefs?

I am ashamed to say that mine certainly don’t always line up, as much as I want to love everyone the way I know the Lord has called me to, I often struggle with it.

Recently, the Lord has allowed me to go through several trials that have been a true test of not necessarily my faith, because I know He’s been right here beside me every step of the way, but more of my character. The Lord’s desire for me to love others the way He loves me has been so impressed on my heart lately.

Sometimes people, even those in your own family, out of jealousy or their own insecurity, can treat you so unfairly. It may not be to your face, but rather in a spiteful, malicious way that hurts far deeper than just a plain old insult ever could. They might talk about you behind your back after being sweet as pie to your face and they might have all the wrong motives when they “help” you. It always hurts worse when those who are supposed to love you hurt you.

Sometimes, people who truly have your best interest at heart don’t understand the value of your dreams and tear you down rather than build you up. It is so disheartening to have your dreams disregarded as trivial or unimportant. But sometimes people haven’t grown up the same way you have, and they don’t know how to dream big, or maybe they never had the opportunities you have so they resent you. There are always going to be those who don’t see the value in your dreams, but it’s how you respond that determines your true success.

Sometimes, people have hurt you so badly that it’s hard to trust them. It’s so easy to let unforgiveness turn you into a person you are not. When your thoughts are consumed with how a person has hurt you, it stops you from growing and imprisons you to a cold, hard heart rather than a heart like Christ’s. Don’t respond to this treatment by acting the same way the person that hurt you did. That makes you just as bad as them! Remember, hurting people hurt people.

I’ve been in all three of these situations in the last few months, and I wish I could say I was a calm, collected woman of grace throughout it all. There have been lots of times that I haven’t understood why I was going through such a trial, especially since they’ve all been with people I genuinely love and want to be close to. However, the Lord doesn’t only call us to love the lovable. He calls us to love the unlovable. He calls us to love the back-stabbers, the gossips, the dream-crushers and the spiteful ones. We are called to love those who hurt us, knowing we are no better them if we retaliate with the same hurtful attitudes.

Jealousy, insecurity and holding grudges are poisons that prevent us from living together in unity and loving one another the way Jesus wants us to.

Be the bigger person, strive every day to love those that hurt you, know that God won’t give you anything you can’t handle, and most importantly, remember that He is by your side every step of the way.

The Rock that is Higher than I

In the last several months, I've been faced with more life-changing moments than ever before in my short 21 years of life. When I say "life-changing," I mean holy-cow-I'm-a-"real"-grown-up kind of moments. It's been exciting, scary, slightly intimidating and all at the same time so full of hope and the Lord's goodness that I have been on even more of an emotional roller coaster than usual. Everyone that knows me know that I wear my emotions on my sleeve and you pretty much always know exactly how I'm feeling (which is both a good thing and a bad thing) and with a proposal, excitement of graduating this coming May, travel plans, job offers and wedding planning, I've been one big tangled mess of every emotion in the book.

The Lord has made His presence so evident throughout this time in my life. He has been right beside me, sending me each and every tangible sign I've begged Him for. Whether it be a song on the radio that confirms exactly what I've been praying about, a Sunday sermon that answers the question I've been asking Him, or simply someone mentioning something to me that they had no way of knowing I'd been wrestling with in my heart and all I needed was some encouragement or to be pointed in the right direction, Jesus has been so faithful.

As I go back to school for my final semester at Appalachian - which is crazy - because I swear just yesterday I was a freshman who didn't know anybody and had to pull out a map the entire first week to find my classes, I know that I will be facing even more scary questions, things I don't think I'm ready for and days when I'm so overwhelmed all I want to do is cry. But, my deepest desire, going forward in 2014, is to savor each and every moment and truly feel every emotion that fills my heart. I don't' want to rush, I don't want to get to the point where I don't care and just start throwing everything together. I want each and every detail to be planned with love and make each and every person feel loved, valued and appreciated.

The Lord promises us not to every give us more than we can handle. He promises His faithfulness, His presence, His strength and His love.

It's a New Year!

For those of you that know me on a personal level, it's no secret that I'm a big fan of setting goals. I always have a notebook and pen in hand, jotting down ideas, doodling or making lists. I guess I have that much of my Momma in me! 2014 is the year I've been waiting for my entire life. It is the year I will graduate from Appalachian State University, the year I will truly plunge head-first into the "real world" and start my career and it's the year I will marry my very best friend!

Here's just a few of the goals I'd like ya'll to help keep me accountable of this year:
- First and foremost, grow in my relationship with the Lord. My deepest desire is to know Him better everyday and have a heart like His.
- Go back to Haiti this summer
- Exercise and develop a healthier lifestyle
- Make a scrapbook of my pictures from Italy
- Completely pay off what humongous little debt I've accumulated (study abroad, hospital bills)
- Do more for people without any intention of every getting a "thank you" or pat on the back
- Save money
- Drink more water
- Do more thoughtful things for my husband to be
- Practice restraint, learn to bite my tongue and learn how to handle hardship with more grace
- Do more with my Momma
- Be more intentional in my relationships, not just going through the motions, but really learn to love people in the way that they need to be loved

I could probably list a thousand, but those are just a few of the big ones. The Lord is so faithful and I know that 2014 is going to be one of the best years ever!

Why I WON'T be watching the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show

It never fails, year after year, my Twitter and Facebook news feeds are full of girls - yes, that's right - girls, not guys - posting things like, "Can't wait for the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show tonight!" or "It's VS Fashion Show day! Best day of the year!"

Needless to say, afterwards, my news feeds are filled with the same girls posting things like, "OMG I hate my life, I'll never be that skinny."  or "Why is she so perfect? I just wanna be Adriana Lima!" These posts, I've noticed, are usually accompanied by a picture of one of the "angels," half-dressed in something only their husbands should see.

It's bad enough that society has reached the level of depravity that women flaunting themselves around practically naked for the whole world to see- let alone calling themselves "angels" while doing it - is acceptable. But, for it to be something that is looked forward to with great anticipation- by girls, none the less- just blows my mind.

First of all, why would a girl want to watch that? To feel terrible about her body and lower her self esteem? Whether they admit it or not, I guarantee that most girls feel like they are morbidly obese after watching those 5'10" and barely 100 pound women strut around practically naked. A body like that is practically impossible to achieve and not healthy. It's definitely NOT the standard the average woman should hold herself to. Remember ladies, only a dog likes a bone.

Secondly, for the men who watch this "fashion show," I've got news for you. Just because it's called a "fashion show," doesn't mean it affects your mind any differently than pornography. When a man watches porn, it gives him unrealistic expectations of what intimacy is like between what should be him and his wife and makes him feel like a woman is something on earth solely to bring him pleasure, rather than a gift from God to treasure and glorify the Lord by loving and serving alongside.

Lastly, as Christians, don't you think it's time to stand up and fight for what we know is right? Sure, not watching it because you don't like the way it dehumanizes women is all well and good, but how bout standing up and saying something about it? I've felt this way about the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show since my freshman year of college, when after leaving a group of about 15 girls who were all watching it together, I found myself sitting in my room alone thinking long and hard about how terrible it was that society has got to this point. I'm ashamed it's taken me until now to stand up and say I'M NOT WATCHING IT.

How about you?

Ya gotta start somewhere. Take heart.

Hi there, friends!

I know I've been kind of MIA for a while, but with finals, work, my internship and a busy, but oh-so-fun Thanksgiving week, I haven't had any time at all to write.

Isn't it funny how in the midst of chaos, your mind wanders to what you really care about? I've found that in the hardest times, the most stressful days, the most sleepless nights.... my mind wanders to what I'm really passionate about. Of course, anyone who knows me knows that my mind is like spaghetti - one thought leading to another in a tangled mess. So, for me, my mind wanders from wedding plans to what I wish I had time to write about to photography ideas. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night with an idea that I just have to write down. It might be a pretty way to wrap a present. It might be a recipe I want to try. It might be something I want to ask my grandmother. It's spaghetti.

Sometimes it feels so overwhelming and disheartening to have so many plans, hopes, dreams and feel like they are so out of reach. I'm planning a wedding on virtually no budget. How do you make a budget with no money? I want to travel the world. There are so many beautiful places I would love to see. But, guess what... I'm still in college and I can't go anywhere because I have class in 27 minutes.

But, you know what (as my sweet little cousin, Ridge would say)?

You have to start somewhere. Yes, I would love to see my pictures in Southern Weddings Magazine or Our State Magazine... but I'm just not there yet. Right now, I'm getting experience and taking classes and submitting pictures in photo contests and freelancing for a small town publication. Yes, I would love to hop on a plane to Greece and stay for a couple of weeks (or months... or years....) but I can't do that yet. Right now, I've gone to Haiti and done mission work and spent a month in Europe studying abroad. One day, when my husband and I have saved and planned, we will be able to take our dream vacations. And, as for the wedding... I've been surrounded by the purest, sweetest and most generous and loving people my entire life and I know without a shadow of a doubt that everything is going to come together perfectly. It's going to be just fine. Yes, booking a reception venue on what is apparently the most popular date of all time (12/13/14) has proved to be quite the challenge, but I know that the Lord is going to lead me to the perfect, affordable and accommodating place.

So, if you're like me and you're on the verge of feeling frustrated with where you are right now... Just stop, take a deep breath and remember that the Lord has not left you as an orphan. Take heart. He is right beside you, holding your hand, walking you through each step of this journey. His timing is perfect, He has plans for you to prosper, and if you delight yourself in Him, He will give you the desires of your heart.

A Not-So-Random Act of Kindness

Ever since Gray popped the question, everyone has, of course, wanted to see my ring. So, naturally, I've wanted to get my nails done all week. Knowing I really shouldn't spend the money, I decided to just bite the bullet and get them done Friday afternoon. I never spend money on things like that, but I thought, of all times, this was one time I could spare the $30. I did just get engaged, after all.

Shortly after I sat down, a sweet little lady I had never met sat down beside me. As we got our nails done, I told her all about the proposal, my sweet fiance and our plans for our future together. She was so precious and wanted to know every detail. She told me about how she married her best friend when she was 19, and now they have been married for 50 something years and she still adores him like she did the day they said their vows.

It reminded me so much of my grandparents and the 62 years of marriage they shared before he passed away. Love like that - the kind that has stood the test of time - is such an inspiration to me. She was so in love, even after all this time and all I could think about is that I want that more than anything with Grayson. Yes, he's the fun-loving, spontaneous, passionate guy I want to spend my 20's with.... but he's also the strong, faithful, caring and Godly man I want to spend my 80's with.

The lady got up and after her nail polish was dry, she paid and came over to where I was sitting, still waiting on the man to finish my manicure. She put her arm around me and said, "I enjoyed talking to you today, sweetheart. I paid for your manicure. It's my engagement gift to you. I'm so happy for you."

I was totally and completely shocked. I thanked her, but before I knew it, she was gone. I didn't even know her name and she had shown me such unexpected and heartfelt kindness and generosity. I couldn't believe it. As I left with tears in my eyes, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that God had spoken to me, once again, this time through a sweet little lady that just so happened to pay for my manicure.

I always pray that the Lord will speak to me and show me His will in tangible ways. I pray that He will literally slap me in the face with it, drop it on my doorstep, make it so completely obvious and clear that I can not miss it. I feel like this woman's "random" act of kindness was not so random, at all. I truly believe that this woman's kind gesture was just another whisper from my Savior saying, "Yes, child. You're right in the center of My will. Grayson is the man I made just for you. You're on the right path, and if you continue to seek Me first in all you do, I will bless you and your relationship."

What I would give to be able to find her and tell her how much that meant to me.

I am so overjoyed and overwhelmed by the love we've been shown this past week. Thank you again to everyone who has poured love and blessings on us. We have so much to be thankful for.